Sanity... a thing of the past!

there is this one day that comes every year. In which consideration and patience are pushed aside for the betterment of the cause. That day is the infamous "day after Thanksgiving shopping". Anyone and everyone (including those not mentioned) are out on this day making complete fools of themselves to get the best early bird deals out there. i can tell you this because as a daughter of one of these "people" i am an experienced pro of dodging and ducking away from these animals.
Here are some rules and guidelines that can be applied when shopping on this day and this day alone :
WARNING: some actions may be punishable by penalty of law
1. It becomes ok to wait in line 2 1/2 hours earlier than the doors open to get five of something you will never use just because "It's a deal"

2. Time is of the essence--one must strategize to get to 7 doorbuster savings in the period of 2 1/4 hours.

3. Pushing, shoving, throwing bows, tripping, cart bumping, biting, and all other forms of violence are permissable if they allow you to take out the enemy(all other shoppers)

4. Wheelchairs receive no sympathy from others until you wail them in the ankles.

5. Children can and may be used much like the front of a bulldozer.

6. Placing a person with a decoy cart a quarter mile long line while you shop for the real stuff is frowned upon by the people behind you doing the exact same thing.

And to end on a happy note...
7. You never can replace the friendships you make with the other shoppers in line even know you know they seriously are planning your take down.